Behind Those Venomous Words
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: He didn't mean to make him cry; to make him feel that way again. He wanted more than anything to make his pain go away, and only he knew how. Kames bromance and Kendall angst!


**Hey guys. I bring you guys another Kames one-shot. :) This is actually for Ajay (KogiesGirl). I hope you like it, buddy, and I hope it came out like you wanted it. And I hope all you other readers enjoy it as well. Just wanted to give Ajay a special thanks… for her undying support. You're awesome, buddy! =^.^=**

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"You're not trying hard enough, Kendall. You never try hard enough, and I am sick of it! What the hell is wrong with you? First you take away what was rightfully mine. You go and perform for Gustavo, making him like you. It was MY dream to become a pop star; not yours! You took that from me! YOU TOOK IT!"

Kendall could only stare at James as he yelled right in his face. His knees shook from underneath him, bottom lip trembling due to the tears that were threatening to leak from his emerald eyes. It hurt. It hurt like nothing he had ever felt before. He might have been bullied throughout his whole life, but for him to have to listen to his best friend –his brother– say those words was enough to make him want to do things he would have never thought of.

He wanted to die.

"I hate you," the blond mumbled under his breath, right before bolting out of the recording booth. He ran towards the door of the studio, passing right by Logan and Carlos, who were arguing over who would get the last cupcake in the break room. Tears blurred his vision. He wanted to die at that very moment. The pain was too much to bear.

Everything was a blur. He had no idea where he was going; he just wanted to get away from Rocque Records. He wanted to get away from James and his evil words filled with venom and hatred.

Guilt bubbled inside of him. He knew that James was saying nothing but the truth. He had taken James' dream. It might have been unintentionally, but he had still done it, and now there was no going back. He had tried to fix everything by bringing them all to Los Angeles so they could become a boy band together, as best friends.

Apparently, that was not enough.

Light headed and tired from running, the blond slipped on a crack on the sidewalk. With a small yelp he fell to the ground. Then and there he curled in on himself atop of a patch of grass. He wrapped his arms around his knees and stared with curiosity at his surroundings. He didn't recognize where he was, but there were no cars or people in sight. The thought of being alone in a city he barely even knew brought a chill to run up his spine.

_I'm gonna die here alone_, he thought to himself. Tears fell freely down his cheeks at the thought. He didn't want to be left alone. He wanted to be back with his best friends. He wanted to make everything okay again. He just wanted everything to go back to the way things used to be before he made the stupid decision to move to Hollywood.

He sobbed into his knees, bringing his head to lean against them. Soft whimpers of sadness slipped from his pink lips. His eyes turned bloodshot from the tears. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt alone, scared, and worthless. James had made him feel worthless.

_Maybe it would be for everyone's best if I was never found_, he thought bitterly. _Maybe it would be better if I just died here alone. I am nothing in their eyes after all. Nothing but someone who worries about himself and steals the dreams of others._

Kendall closed his eyes, waiting for his death that was sure to come, or so he thought. The soft sound of feet pounding against pavement caused his eyes to flutter open. Biting his lower lip, he looked up to find that someone was standing in front of him. His mouth hung open at who it was; James.

He was too shocked to speak.

James sat down beside the smaller boy without uttering one single word. Sporting a small smile, he caringly brushed back Kendall's blond bangs and looked him in the eyes. Kendall could see the guilt and sadness in his older friend's eyes.

"Kendall, I'm so sorry, buddy," the brunette whispered. He carefully brought the boy into his arms and held him close to his shaking body. He suspected Kendall to try and squirm away from his grasp. What he did not suspect was for Kendall to cuddle against him and start to silently sob into his chest, mumbling nonsense James could not make out.

"Kenny, calm down," James finally said, not being able to see Kendall so broken. He ran the palm of his hand against Kendall's quivering back in soothing circles, silently praying that that would stop the younger boy from crying uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, buddy. I'm so, so sorry."

The brunette laid his head on top of Kendall's shoulder and closed his eyes, allowing a few tears to roll down his flushed cheeks. Ever so slowly, he felt Kendall move in his arms. The younger boy looked James in the eyes before reaching forward with a shaking hand and wiping away James' tears. The taller boy could only half-heartedly smile at the small gesture.

"I should be the one apologizing," Kendall croaked out. "I'm sorry James, I truly am. I didn't mean to take what was yours. I… I'm so sorry, James…"

James tightened his hold on Kendall, not paying much attention to the rest of what he said. He simply held the boy he considered a little brother in his arms until he had cried out all his tears.

Minutes passed, and Kendall's heartbreaking sobs slowly turned into tiny sniffles. "You okay?" James asked with concern. Kendall just nodded against his chest. "You know I didn't mean what I said, right? You didn't steal my dream, Kendall. If anything, you helped me get here. I owe you one, bud."

"If I didn't steal your dream, then why do I feel so hollow inside, and so guilty?" Kendall whimpered.

"No, no, no!" James shook his head vigorously as he took Kendall's smaller hands in his own and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Don't say that, Kenny. I don't want you to ever say that again, please. I promise you, everything I said was spilled out of pure anger. I love you, buddy. I wish you knew how much you're worth."

James' eyes started to water up once again. He knew how insecure and worthless Kendall could sometimes feel, and he hated it. He didn't understand how Kendall could not see how much he was worth to not only him but also to everyone that loved him. Most of the time, Kendall did not give himself enough credit.

"I love you, too, Jay," Kendall whispered. "Thank you." He looked up at James with watery, light green eyes and forced a smile upon his face. "And… I'm sorry I said that I hated you. I didn't mean it."

James giggled and ruffled Kendall's dirty blond hair. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I know you didn't mean it." He hugged Kendall once again and buried his face against the boy's neck. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Kendall smiled. "So are you." He closed his eyes and allowed James to rock him back and forth, letting the darkness take control of his body until he was completely under unconsciousness.

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**What did you guys think? Hope it was angsty enough! Love you all! Bye!**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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